5:30 a.m.: I am awoken from my deep slumber to the sound of someone in the kitchen. The kitchen is where there is food! Food sometimes gets dropped on the floor! I am excited by the prospect of my feast and race out to the golden room.
5:32 a.m.: There is no food on the floor. I have sniffed and snorted out every square inch of the floor. Twice. I guess I should go outside. Maybe there is food on the sidewalk.
5:34 a.m.: This is exhausting. I have pee'ed; I have sniffed out every inch of the sidewalk; even stuck my head in the snow in hopes there is food on the ground that I missed before, all to no avail. If I go in the house now, I will get fed. Dog food. Blech. But it's food.
5:35 a.m.: OHMYGOODGOD, THIS IS THE BEST FOOD EVER!! I just can't eat it fast enough and, as I do every morning, I choke on it. But if I don't get it all in my mouth in one bite, it will disappear. I just know it. I know these things.
5:38 a.m.: So. Tired. Now. Need. A. Nap.
3:30 p.m.: I'm awaken from The People coming home. FOOD!
3:31 p.m.: Can I eat now?
3:41 p.m.: Can I eat now?
3:51 p.m.: I let The People pet me and I roll on my back. I am so cute, how could they possibly not feed me now. Look at me, even wagging my tail. Hello People. Will you feed me now?
3:57 p.m.: Can I eat now?
3:58 p.m.: Can I eat now?
3:59 p.m.: I'm exhasted. Need. To. Nap. In. The. Kitchen. Where. My. Food. Will. Be. Soon.
4:45 p.m.: There are rumblings in the kitchen. I smell The Chicken. Sometimes I smell The Tuna or The Beef or The Pork, but today it is The Chicken. Oh it is heavenly. People Food. Drool pools at the corner of my mouth.
4:52 p.m.: I simply can not take this anymore. Pleeeeeeeeaaaassssse feed me! Please? Please? Please? Please?
5:00 p.m.: OHMYGOODGOD, THIS IS THE BEST FOOD EVER!! I just can't eat it fast enough and, as I do every evening, I choke on it. But if I don't get it all in my mouth in one bite, it will disappear. I just know it. I know these things.
5:05 p.m.: So. Tired. Now. Need. A. Nap.
6:00 p.m.: The People call this my "Entitlement Time". I don't know what they mean. Of course it's time for A Treat. They are evil. They make me suffer until 7:00 p.m.
6:15 p.m.: Please can I have A Treat now?
6:30 p.m.: Please can I have A Treat now?
6:45 p.m.: Please can I have A Treat now?
6:50 p.m.: Now? Please?
6:55 p.m.: Ohgod, my stomach hurts. I'm dying of starvation. I don't know that I can even move. I have no energy. Ohgod, The People are so cruel to me. Why?
7:00 p.m.: OHMYGOODGOD, THIS IS THE BEST DOG TREAT IN THE WHOLE WORLD. MUST SNIFF AND SNORT OUT EVERY SQUARE INCH OF THE KITCHEN FOR CRUMBS.
7:30 p.m.: Sometimes The People take me for a walk. Sometimes The People let me nap. I don't really care either way.
8:30 p.m.: Ohgod, I am exhausted. I'm going to bed. I wonder what kind of feast I will find in the morning.
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