Relax, Don't Do It.

That's been my motto this week:  Relax, Don't Do It.  In fact, don't do anything.  It feels good having a few days off, not doing much. 

The party went off without a hitch on Saturday.  The weather was as perfect as I could have asked for and we even got some people out on the boat tubing!  The threat of rain was strong all week, but we got nothin' but sun.  Perfect.

Home now for a couple days before heading off to Fargo where shopping awaits.  And then it's off to Detroit Lakes to meet up with some friends for the night.  And then it's back home for a couple days before reality hits us once again.

Work.

Ugh.

Something weird happened last week.  I saw 2 birds on my fence with their mouths open.  I can't help but wonder, do birds pant like dogs?

This Artiste is Not Very Cultured!

I.  Am. Crafty. I am!  I was in a fabric store AND a craft store all in one night this week.  AND I even crafted something all by myself.  Of course the lady at the fabric store had no problem displaying her utter disgust at my lack of knowledge of the "pinking shear".  Why can't I just use my kitchen scissors, I asked.  I mean, what's the big deal?  And what the hell are pinking shears anyway?  They make some sort of curvy design on the fabric?  Who cares?  I don't have the patience to discuss the merits of the Pinking Shear so I just went and did things my way.  I think she took my picture in the parking lot and put me on their "Banned from the Store" list.   She didn't like me very much; I didn't take her pinking shear lecture seriously.  Clearly she needs a life.

And then I went to Michael's, the craft store to buy....(are you sitting down?)....raffia ribbon.  I know, right?  Me!  In a craft store.  So I'm walking up and down isle after isle, getting more and more frustrated because I can't find the stuff.  I muttered out loud "This is exactly why I pay people to do shit."  My God, who has the patience to do all this stuff!  Scrapbooking and paints and brushes and loose flowers and patterns and.....fuck man!  Seriously???  So finally I asked and I found.  Did you know there's about a  billion colours of raffia ribbon?  Well there is.  I stood there forever. I had this piece of fabric in my purse.  It's beige cotton.  Nothing fancy.  But I really don't know colours.  (When we bought this house, we painted our bedroom twice because of my colour choices so I'm not kidding when I say I don't know colours.  I lack ANY creative style whatsoever.)  So, what the hell goes with beige?  A darker beige!  Same colour palate I figured, so it's got to work.

What am I doing with beige cotton fabric and darker beige raffia ribbon you're probably wondering, right?

I'm decorating thank-you-for-coming-(to my parent's anniversary party) little jam jars!

I think they sort of look like little Arabian Sheiks, all lined up in my old fridge downstairs, but I'm quite proud of them.  They will do.

I made strawberry freezer jam yesterday (1/3 of which did not set properly - apparently pectin has a shelf life of less than a year, incase you didn't know), and then decorated them all Arabian Sheik-like.  I even added a label and everything.  They disintegrate in water - the labels I mean, not the jars.  Cool, eh?  But it's all home-made, made in total frustration by yours truly.  *Beams!*

So the cultered part.  Why is this Artiste not cultured?

So last night The Man and I went to a "laser" show.  (pronounced Dr. Evil style - quotations and all)  It was a laser show set to Radiohead at the Planetarium.  Sounds cool, right?  I think the Laserist (and yes, that is what they call themselves) choose the most obscure, never-heard-of-EVER Radiohead songs.  Oh how I wished we popped some mushrooms before we went.  I think we might have actually enjoyed it then.

But that's not the cultured part.

See, the Fringe Festival is going on, and the venues are all over the place downtown.  There was one right by the entrance of the lazer show.  We decided to look at the billboard thinking that maybe this year we will see what all the hype is about.  But I'm afraid I just don't get it. Why one would pay money to watch a lone man on stage talk for an hour I will never understand.  I'd rather spend the evening plucking out my arm hairs, one-by-one, ... followed by a leisurely walk-through of the entire Michael's craft store.

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Let's Play a Game!

Since July 1, we've been playing a game of "I Wonder What We Were Doing This Time Last Year?".  Well, a year ago today we did the riviting tour of Gettysburg, and then drove into New York City.  For the, like, 5 people (if that) who read this blog, you can see for yourself what we were doing exactly a year ago on July 9, 2010.  http://roadtrip2010dmd.blogspot.com/2010/07/gettysburg-and-new-york-city.html

(I've always wondered how that click "here" thing is done.  You know where "here" is what you click on?  I'm not a very savvy blogger, I know.)

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My apple tree is growing strong and bears a whole TON (or is that tonne?) of fruit!!

Yup, I'm a tree hugger.  I saved it from coming down this Spring.  The apples are far too good and the tree provides so much needed shade for the back yard to come down.

We stained the fence too.

AND we replaced the kitchen window!   Here's how it looks from the inside:

And from the outside:

And my Kobe-dog went for his annual check up and he's LOST 4 pounds!!  Can't you tell??

He takes the worst pictures for such a cute dog.  This one is a little better:

Yeah, that's his chair.  Notice how the dog gets leather?  Spoiled doesn't even begin to describe how this perfect animal gets treated.

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I shipped the man-child off to his father's for the entire summer.  It's been a little weird having no child at home, and I probably talk to him more now than if he was home.  I text him all the time and I call him every day.  I do miss him even though he's a royal pain in the ass most times. Isn't it funny how that works?

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Speaking of the royals,  I'm a huge Will & Kate fan. I'm one of "those people" who set my alarm clock to 3 in the morning to watch their wedding.  I'm a romantic at heart I guess.  I mean, what woman does not want to watch a princess be made, right?

And I really admire the youthfulness and energy they are bringing to the monarchy.  Some might say that it's the whole "movie stardom" thing that I might find intriguing, and I suppose that's partly it.  I mean, these are Very Beautiful People we're talking about.  Kate really needs to put some carbs in her mouth, but other than that she's simply stunning.  I followed their tour across Canada and really had to laugh watching Prince William make his last speech in a cowboy shirt and white hat.  It was a little bizzare.

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I visited the Red River Book Shop this week.  I hadn't been there in a few years and was quickly reminded of it's quirkiness.  What a fantastic little book store.  It contains everything you could ever possibly want to read, including an entire section devoted to all things sexually related, for those who desire such a thing anyway.  (PERVERTS!)  But seriously, if it wasn't so hot that day (there's no air conditioning in the building), I would have spent far more than the hour I was in there.  I need to go back.  There's some really cool finds there.

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2 more weeks until Vacation Time!!  I'm in serious need of a vacation.  We have no plans this year, which is kind of a cool thing.  There's nothing wrong with casually sipping coffee while reading the paper every morning.  Nope, nothing at all.  And to be perfectly honest, it's the life I was meant to live anyway....

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And In conclusion...

A Winnipeg Conversation:

Damn, it's cold.  It's -35 with a windchill of -90.  I just can't stand it!

Holy shit it's hot.  It's only 7 in the morning at it's 20 above!  With the humidity today it's going to feel +50 outside!

That icy wind is burning my face!

Those mosquitoes are horrid!

I hate shovelling.

I hate cutting the grass.

Build a snowman?  Screw that, it's too cold!

Go to the beach?  Screw that, it's too hot!

This coffee is burning my hands!

This slurpee is giving me brain freeze!

The roads are pure ice!

The roads are sizzling from all the heat!

We need some sunshine.  I feel depressed.

We need some rain. The grass is dying.

Why do we live here?

Why do we live here?

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The Atlanta Scandal

On the U.S. news tonight:  Educators in Atlanta Erase Wrong Answers on Tests and Insert Correct Answers.  138 Educators Caught, 85 Have Confessed, 38 of Whom Are Principals.

Where were these educators when I was in high school?