A Day In The Life Of Kobe.

5:30 a.m.:  I am awoken from my deep slumber to the sound of someone in the kitchen.  The kitchen is where there is food!  Food sometimes gets dropped on the floor!  I am excited by the prospect of my feast and race out to the golden room.

5:32 a.m.:  There is no food on the floor.  I have sniffed and snorted out every square inch of the floor.  Twice.  I guess I should go outside.  Maybe there is food on the sidewalk.

5:34 a.m.:  This is exhausting.  I have pee'ed; I have sniffed out every inch of the sidewalk; even stuck my head in the snow in hopes there is food on the ground that I missed before, all to no avail.  If I go in the house now, I will get fed.  Dog food.  Blech.  But it's food. 

5:35 a.m.:  OHMYGOODGOD, THIS IS THE BEST FOOD EVER!!  I just can't eat it fast enough and, as I do every morning, I choke on it.  But if I don't get it all in my mouth in one bite, it will disappear.  I just know it.  I know these things.

5:38 a.m.:  So.  Tired.  Now.  Need.  A.  Nap.

3:30 p.m.:  I'm awaken from The People coming home.  FOOD!

3:31 p.m.:  Can I eat now?

3:41 p.m.:  Can I eat now?

3:51 p.m.:  I let The People pet me and I roll on my back.  I am so cute, how could they possibly not feed me now.  Look at me, even wagging my tail.  Hello People.  Will you feed me now?

3:57 p.m.:  Can I eat now?

3:58 p.m.:  Can I eat now?

3:59 p.m.:  I'm exhasted.  Need.  To.  Nap.  In.  The.  Kitchen.  Where.  My.  Food.  Will.  Be.  Soon.

4:45 p.m.:  There are rumblings in the kitchen.  I smell The Chicken.  Sometimes I smell The Tuna or The Beef or The Pork, but today it is The Chicken.  Oh it is heavenly.  People Food.  Drool pools at the corner of my mouth.

4:52 p.m.:   I simply can not take this anymore.  Pleeeeeeeeaaaassssse feed me!  Please?  Please?  Please?  Please?

5:00 p.m.:  OHMYGOODGOD, THIS IS THE BEST FOOD EVER!! I just can't eat it fast enough and, as I do every evening, I choke on it. But if I don't get it all in my mouth in one bite, it will disappear. I just know it.  I know these things.

5:05 p.m.:  So. Tired. Now. Need. A. Nap.

6:00 p.m.:  The People call this my "Entitlement Time".  I don't know what they mean.  Of course it's time for A Treat.  They are evil.  They make me suffer until 7:00 p.m.

6:15 p.m.:  Please can I have A Treat now?

6:30 p.m.:  Please can I have A Treat now?

6:45 p.m.:  Please can I have A Treat now?

6:50 p.m.:  Now?  Please?

6:55 p.m.:  Ohgod, my stomach hurts. I'm dying of starvation.  I don't know that I can even move.  I have no energy.  Ohgod, The People are so cruel to me.  Why?

7:00 p.m.:  OHMYGOODGOD, THIS IS THE BEST DOG TREAT IN THE WHOLE WORLD.  MUST SNIFF AND SNORT OUT EVERY SQUARE INCH OF THE KITCHEN FOR CRUMBS.

7:30 p.m.:  Sometimes The People take me for a walk.  Sometimes The People let me nap.  I don't really care either way.

8:30 p.m.:  Ohgod, I am exhausted.  I'm going to bed.  I wonder what kind of feast I will find in the morning.

20's, 30's, 40's.....

I caught the later bus this morning.  I haven't been on this bus before I think.  Well, I might have been on that particular bus I guess, but not at that specific time.  The bus is full and I glance around looking for a seat. I notice that everyone seems so unhappy and that saddens me. I found a seat beside a young girl carrying a bright green binder and her cell phone.  Do they call those hand-held items cell phones anymore?  The are more like little personal devices that form an extra appendage off the hand.  Anyway, the bright green binder was resting on the available seat and I stood there and waited for her to put the binder in her lap so that I could sit.  She seemed unimpressed with the whole deal, but I didn't care.  The bus lumbered along, heading downtown.  I took the time to look around me.  People don't take enough time to look around them, do they?  They are so intent on staring at their appendage in their hand.  I don't know that I've been anywhere where I didn't see someone looking down in their hands.  It's weird.  There's no personal interaction anymore but I suppose this is to my advantage:  I can people-watch to my heart's content.

There's one specific woman who has caught my attention.  She's Muslim, I guessed, based on her headdress and scarf.  She's my age I figured, with a beautiful face.  She looks tired though and I begin to wonder about her life.  Children?  Husband?  A job?  Is she happy in our country?  She's carrying a school bag - does she go to school?  What is she taking?  Is she succeeding?  The green-binder appendage-hand girl rings the bell.  She's getting off at the UofW.  Good luck to you sweetie, I think.  Be sure to turn your phone off in class; there's nothing that pisses the profs off more than cell phones in class.  I move over into the now vacant seat and the Muslim woman sits beside me.  She smells of bacon and I'm reminded of Sunday morning pancakes, bacon, and freshly ground coffee.  Oh yum.  I wonder if she makes big breakfasts for her family every morning.  I decide that she has 3 school age children.  I'm sure they are adorable.  I want to ask my seatmate about her life.  Tell me about you, I want to say although I don't though.  People don't talk on the bus.

My stop is next so I give my head a mental shake and focus on my day.

I am not in school this year and I miss it so much.  I've spent hours and hours in the backroom pouring over books and stressing over papers,  trying to figure out if what I have done is good or if it's just good enough.  I've taken the year off during the law school application process and accepted a position at a local vocational college instructing students on how to become legal assistants.  As I walk to the college I think of this professor I had once who said to the class: "Your parents have made you believe you can be anything you want to be.  It's my job to bring you back to reality."  Her statement really pissed me off at the time.  I though it extremely irresponsible to be telling young people that they couldn't dream. How dare she!  But now that I too am an "educator", I have to admit that I get it now.  You either have it or you don't.  It's my job to bring these students back to reality.  This same professor has influenced me so much over the past year even though she has no clue of it.  I think of her often.  I really should email her and tell her that one of these days.

I don't know if I want law school anymore.  What a CRAZY thing to say, I know.  I have worked so hard over the past few years for this.  If I could be anything, do anything, I would be a professional student.  I would go to school forever.  I miss going to the U, sitting in class, learning how to think in an entirely different way, being open to opinions and thoughts of others, and thinking to myself oh my god, I never thought of it that way before!  You know what scares me?  I teach students everyday about the world of lawyers and it has dawned on me that I want to BE one of them?  I've told myself for years that I will be different; I won't be like them.  I won't be money-hungry.  I won't work like a dog. I won't be anal-minded and eccentric.  I will make sure I have a life outside of the law!  Who am I kidding?  I know what lawyers are like; I've worked with them for 18 years for Christ sake!  Is that the life I want?  More importantly, do I want to spend $45,000 over the next 3 years and decide that it's NOT??

I like the education system.  It's fascinating to me.  I like that I'm not sitting in an office pumping out work like some sort of machine.  I feel like I'm making some sort of impact on the world, even if it's just resulting in a few great legal assistants.  Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life?  No, I want to be a professional student forever.  That would be my dream job.  In the meantime I am loving and hating my period of self-discovery.  I have a classroom full of amazing students right now.  They are bright, eager, and so much fun to hang out with.  They accept my imperfections and my answers of "You know, that's a really good question.  Let me look into it and let you know.", because I really don't have all the answers.  They make me laugh with their humour and they have really influenced the kind of person I want to be.  They make me happy.

Life sure is interesting as you age and grow.  My 20's were all about selfishness; 30's about self-discovery.  Will my 40's finally be about contentment?  Jesus, I hope so.

Till next time, my friends....

M.

6 Months Later....

For those of you who have bugged me to return.....this one's for you.

Let's see. Where to start.

I attended a 30 hour LSAT prep course in May. It was hellish. I was stuck in a classroom for 30 hours over a period of 3 days with spoiled rich kids whose sense of entitlement was quite a spectacular spectacle. During introductions one proud 22 year old boy announced that because he expects payment up front he will focus on tax law. It took everything in me not to walk up to him and slap that smirk right off his face. I can't wait to see him get knocked down a few pegs when he's out in the real world.

I wrote the LSAT in early June and concluded that if there is a hell, it would consist of writing ridiculous standardized tests prepared by pompous and arrogant Americans. Nearly six hours of trying to induce my brain to function at full capacity. Futile task really. I just don't think in those sorts of terms: I am neither analytical nor logical. But that doesn't mean I'm not smart. Standardized tests do nothing to test the boundaries of intelligence, particularly law school admissions tests. It produces a number and that is all. I am so relieved that my application will be based on experience and merit as opposed to a number because then I wouldn't have a hope in hell.

___________

I attended a golf tournament last week. I was told it was an "executive course". I'm not entirely sure what that means exactly but someone explained to me that it's a shorter course with only par 3 or par 4's. Sounds like a plausible explanation I suppose.

We rented a golf cart this year and I discovered the accessible beer can holders. Eureka! I and the beer truck girl became fast friends. I did a little golfing too but once again found myself confused over what number "stick" to use. I don't know why there are so many of them when in all reality, only 3 are required: 1 to hit the ball far; one to hit it not-so-far; and one to just tap it in the hole. Simple. Why make the game so confusing?

____________

I made my debut in a fashion show over the weekend, a fundraiser for a Lac du Bonnet organization called "Women Supporting Women". I felt like SUCH a nerd at first, but I got into it in no time at all. I had practiced my "blue steel" look for weeks prior but was too nervous to actually produce it. For the most part my heart was jumping out of my chest but you know what they say..... never let 'em see you sweat. It's how I live my life really. I rarely know what the hell I'm doing - I just give the impression that I do. So I pranced around modelling these beautiful dresses and outfits and smiled into the crowd praying I wouldn't trip. Walk, stop, pause, turn, walk, stop, pause, turn, walk.....suck in the stomach, push back the shoulders, smile, put one foot in front of the other.....there was a LOT to remember! It was quite exhausting really.

I've been invited to return next year so I couldn't have done all that bad. Besides, show me a girl who doesn't like to dress up and wear fancy clothes and jewellery! How could I possibly say no?

___________

My teenage man-child is gearing up to take his road test in a couple weeks. I feel old.

__________

I'm still smoking despite 3 attempts to quit over the last few months, 1 of which was really quite serious. I am so weak.

__________

Coors Light Iced Tea isn't very good. Beer is supposed to taste like beer, not tea.

_________

I have returned to work on nearly a full-time basis. I have kept my Wednesdays off for a couple reasons: First, I'm taking a summer session course at the U, and second, why not.

_________

And lastly, I am having a most difficult time trying to decide if I should bring a bottle of rum or a bottle of vodka home from my little trip to Minni this weekend. Decisions, decisions.