Transit Virginity

I lost my transit virginity this week.  I bet you didn't realize there was one, did you?  Let me explain: 

My morning bus to school is packed.  It's packed to the brink that I have to stand from Mountain and McPhillips to the University of Manitoba.  Granted, it's an express bus and gets me there in under 40 minutes, which is much faster than if I took a car, but still, it's a long time to stand.  So this past Tuesday was no different than any other Tuesday (well, except for the ALL DAY torrential downpour, but that's for another time.  Every try spending a day in school, with classes all over the campus and THEN go to work in an office downtown while trying not to look like a drowned rat?  Try it.  It's a blast, I assure you.).  I stopped at the local Robin's to grab a coffee and went to stand by my bus stop with all the other kiddies to wait for my school bus.  It lumbered along and as usual, there was no place to sit.  So I claimed my spot at the back of the bus, put my bag on the floor between my legs, placed one hand on the handle in front of me, the other gripped my coffee for dear life, and prepared myself for a ride of quick stops and jerky accelerations.  My bus driver is a former NASCAR racer, or so it seems.

There is a stop on Portage and Sherbrook that is a fairly popular spot for a few people on my bus.  Seems not everyone is a U student.  Who knew?  So far I haven't been one of the lucky ones to grab a seat once someone exits, but Tuesday was My Turn.  A spot opened up but it was a seat down from where I was standing and there was already a woman standing there.  She turned to me and said "go ahead".  I said, "really?? thanks!!", and quickly made myself comfortable.  People shuffled back to make more room and I proudly settled in and made myself comfortable.  Yes, I was feeling quite smug actually.

Standing to my side, amongst all the other stander-uppers was this young guy with really nice jeans.  I remember him because I remember looking at his jeans and thinking "those are really nice jeans".  Well, the guy-in-the-really-nice-jeans decided to fart not quite in my face, but damn near just about. And it was a NASTY ASS fart. It was so fucking gross I wanted to stand up and slap him.  I covered my mouth and thought to myself "I'm never sitting down on my morning bus EVER again."

And so, now I know why the lovely woman offered her seat to me.  She had once lost her transit virginity just as I had, and had a fart thrown in her direction too.  Hopefully my transit initiation is now complete. Not sure I can take much more.