Seeking Fairy-Dust

It was my Baba's 89th birthday yesterday and she's going strong.  She tires easily, naps at 10 minute intervals, but is as sharp as ever.  She's the woman who taught me how to fold a perogy, how butter is so much better, and how there can never be too much bacon grease in any dish I make. Her tough as nails attitude and her razor sharp tongue can still leave lasting scars, but she is, as always, the hub of her family.  I looked around her apartment at the room full of people there to celebrate her birthday with her and realized just how important family connections are.  They may drive you crazy, they may make you mad, they may hurt you and make you cry, but they will always be your family, and they will always encourage and support, and best of all, they will be there to celebrate all the good times with you too.  What an interesting dynamic.

This has been an emotional week for me; leaving me with a continuous realization of just how blessed I am to have so much encouragement and support.  I have people in my corner who barely know me, backing me up in a professional sense, to see that I am awarded with any and every opportunity available to me.  In a professional sense, I have never experienced this, ever.  Most times I am looked at as merely a faceless admin. I am a warm body who pumps out the work, easily replaceable and easily forgettable.  That's the life of a legal admin.  I've never accepted that, and even when the money became more than I ever thought I'd ever make, I still don't accept that.  This week, a very respected and prominent figure in the legal community sat me down in her office and offered to mentor me while I make the transition from a corporate paralegal to a lawyer.  She told me things that only my mother or husband has told me:  I'm smart, the work I produce is very good.  I can do it if I apply myself.  I should reach and be pushed to my highest potential.  And, as she sits on the selection board at the Faculty of Law, she knows what will stand out when I apply.  Without my knowledge, she spoke to the management committee of my Firm and put a strong request to keep me supplied with paralegal-level work.  She stressed the importance of this; I must stay on track and follow my dream.  She will provide the environment; the rest is up to me.

My entire week has been like this, from family and friends to those I have always looked up to in awe.  This doesn't happen to people like me!  I'm a normal North-End girl, who lives in a 900 sq ft home, with a teenage son and a blue collar husband.  I'm not the advantaged Charleswood girl with the BMW's in the garage and parents who could buy the entire dealership if they wanted.  No one, in a professional sense, has done or said such things to me, has backed me up so thoroughly, has given me the confidence to think that maybe, just maybe, I really CAN do it.

A small part of me is waiting for it all to come crashing down.  Shit like this just doesn't happen in real life.  Maybe the joke is on me and I just haven't realized it yet.  And if that's the case, worst case scenario I come out with an advanced degree in Labour Studies. Who will be laughing then I wonder?

Sold my car yesterday.  It is the first sacrifice of many yet to come.  It was really, really hard; I so loved that car and the independence it provided me.  But, I just need to keep my eye on the prize, right?  The money will help pay for my studies and will ease the financial burden at home.  There is a purpose to all this.  One day in the not-so-distant future I will walk into a dealership and buy a brand-new car. 

In cash. 

And thumb my nose at all those who told me I couldn't do it.  Fuckers.